Philip Bizzarri ca. 1994
My kind, sweet, gentle papa passed on May 1st. It was both expected and unexpected, the best possible passing and the saddest day of my life. My wife Morgan, my mother, and I were all there, holding his hand.
Driving down to my parent’s house that morning, I decided I wanted to make the coffin. Then I decided I wanted help. So I asked some of my closest friends to come build the coffin with me: Peter Ross, Roy Underhill and Bill Anderson.
For the sides of the coffin, Roy gave me two boards that had been part of the set of The Woodwright’s Shop. I probably watched them on TV when I was 7 or 8 years old. For the top and bottom, I found some pine seat blanks that wouldn’t make good seats, and planed them down thin.
Then Bill pontificated….
…Peter pointed….
…we sawed kerfs in the sides so they’d bend….
….and drilled nail holes so they wouldn’t split.
We poured boiling water over the sides….
…nailed them on with Peter’s nails…
… and bent them around the bottom.
We made the lid and handles…
…. and attached the guiding star Bill had made.
Then the coffin was done.
Three days later, Papa’s body was buried at a conservation cemetery near our home. Building that coffin was the most important – and the shortest lived – thing I’ve ever made. Thank you Bill, thank you Roy, and thank you Peter for carrying me through.
And thank you Papa for being you.
I love you.
This is one of the most beautiful tributes I have ever read. He brought you into this world; you ushered him on his way with love and care and community. thanks for sharing.
Elia, that is a lovely tribute to your father. Cherish the memories of his life. Condolences to you, Morgan and your mom.
Very sorry to hear of your Dad’s passing, Elia. Thank you for sharing the beautiful and touching tribute. Sending prayers for you and your loved ones during this difficult time.
Prayers to you and your family. A beautiful but I’m sure difficult sentiment to your father.
I lost my dad rather a while ago (almost twenty years), and also yesterday it seems. A deeply life changing thing. I still don’t talk much about it. It’s too fresh. But a wise man once wrote: “Shared pain is lessoned; joy shared is increased.”*
I share your pain.
Don’t be afraid to grieve. Grief is love given when the one you love can no longer receive it.
*Spider Robinson
I am very sorry for your loss, and hope you, your wife Morgan, and your mother are giving much comfort to each other. When you feel you can write about him, I would like to know about your father. He obviously instilled great love in you, and he reared a wonderful son. I would like to know more. I wish you peace.
May the memories of your father bring you peace.
Elia, my prayers are with you and your family. Losing a loving parent is hard but he will always be in your heart.
Dear Elia: That was a beautifully written article and a wonderful tribute to your father. It is so fitting that you were helped by Bill, Roy and Peter. To be helped by such people is a tribute to your father and to you.
I can remember my own father’s death. I was not able to greave because of the need to take care of my mother. However, months later, when I used some of his tools, I was crushed…but in a good way. The connection of using his old tools continues to be a comfort to me.
I hope that you find peace with the memories of a man who you clearly admire.
My Condolences. May he rest in peace.
What a testimonial
It is painful to lose one you love so much. And it’s important to share some of that pain with great, close friends. God bless you all. Papa is smiling down upon you all.
Thanks for sharing the story with us. I sympathize in the loss of your father. The worse day in my life was losing my father. Your family is in my thoughts and prayers.
I made an urn for my Fathers ashes until they were spread. It was more fitting than the plastic container with which I had received them in. The wood too, had a history and relevance both for him and I . The loss of a parent cannot be overcome by the making of something such as this but it helps to guide you in the right direction, painful as it is. It was good you had the company you did with the making and peace be with you. Condolences to you and your family.
Gav
Elia,
My Condolences.
What a magnificent testimonial.
May Father send strength and comfort to you and all at this time.
Elia – Very sad to hear of your loss. To see these men drop whatever was on their schedules and help you in your time of need is genuinely heart-warming. I pray that you, your family, and those close to your father find peace in this difficult time.
I’m very sorry about your father. Thanks for sharing the story of building his coffin.
This is truly beautiful. While your loss is unenviable, having such true friends at such a time to help with such an important project at a vulnerable time, is surely one of life’s richest rewards.
Condolences on your loss.Thank for your work and bringing all of us along for the ride.
Very sorry for your loss Elia. Condolences to you and your family.
So sorry to hear about your loss. The coffin is a great tribute for your Papa, you, and your family & friends. My heartfelt condolences.